Introvert Mommy

Being a working mom is the most difficult thing I've ever done.  It requires me to be consistently, thoroughly, unlazy.  There are just too many things that have to happen, and I'm the only one who can do them.  I've given up (albeit temporarily) many things to do this job that I've given myself.  One of those things is my social life. 

I'm not a social butterfly. I never have been. I have a few close confidants, and a wider sub-set of people I know and like. That's worked well for me.  However, since I became a parent, I did what a lot of parents do, and I disappeared.  I work, I go home, I spend time with my kid.  Weekends are devoted to taking care of my home, and spending time with my kid. The end.

This not something I'm blaming anyone for.  I recognize that this is my choice, and I am doing what I think is best for me and my family.  Trying to pile extra play-dates and fun trips on top of a 40-hour work week, 8 hours of drive-time weekly, and other chores and necessary house-hold excursions, would tip my exhaustion meter past the red bar and throw me into non-function instead of just dysfunction. And it isn't just the extra time it takes.  It's all the extra interacting with humans that I have to do.  It's a little easier interacting with my friends who have kids, but I also have to interact with the other parents from daycare who I'm not friends with. 

My husband is a little better at this, but at the last birthday party I attended, it was very obvious how out-of-step we are with the mainstream parents.  We went to a park for a 3-year-old girl's birthday party. We showed up to see all the dads standing around drinking beers, and the moms playing with the kids and chatting with each other.  My husband didn't even bother to approach the dads.  I could see why. They all looked the same: t-shirts, ball caps, beers in cans...bros.  The generally non-communicative sort. My husband is not a bro.  He sat down on a bench and was immediately involved in a conversation with several of the moms.  Eventually other moms joined them.   I don't think he talked to another dad at that party the entire time.  Me? I sat on the grass and played with our son.  Occasionally, other little kids would join us, but I don't think I talked to another mom that whole time.  And I was okay with that. 

I'm okay that my off-time is a bit isolated: just me, husband, and boy. If it involved more people, I might be losing my marbles a bit more.  The few hours I spend on the floor between work and bed-time, playing with my baby are wonderful.  We are alone and I love that. 

I get that this will change as our son grows up.  I will be required to throw birthday parties (shudder), and I when he chooses his friends, I will have to communicate with them and their parents (double-shudder).  And someday, I will have my social life again, and I will be able to reconnect with my friends.