Walking on my lunch break

On my lunch break, I walk around the building's perimeter. See, HR?  Here's my proof of my "Active, Healthy Lifestyle."

 

Now please ignore the fact that I ate a cupcake I ate for lunch.

We suck at Christmas

Here's a picture showing how much my family sucks at Christmas, and why you should pity my poor son.

See this?  That is our tree.  I asked my husband if we could make room in our shack for a real tree.  He said he didn't see a way to do it, and unless I could come up with one, we would simply have to accept our treelessness.  His other argument against having a tree is, we have four cats and a toddler.  At least one of them would try something stupid that would result in a mess and/or a pricey trip to the ER.  Reason number 3: we're crazy-broke right now. Real trees + tree stand + decorations = money we don't have right now.

With nine days before Christmas, I've done something to alleviate the Christmas-shaped hole in my life.  I purchased a plant from Trader Joe's for four dollars. It's shaped like a tree.  I set out the only two ornaments I have (Stefan's 5 month old footprint, and a Costco-made metal picture from last year) in front.  Next to our tree, a bow light I purchased for a dollar at the West Marine sample sale as our make-shift Festivus pole. It's red and green, see? 

More proof that I am the worst mother ever.

Another tree.

Here's another tree on the property. I suspect it's an Oak. I don't know this for sure, and my co-worker told me that she thinks it's too big to be an oak. I don't know.

Also, no one has guessed what the other tree was.  If anyone actually reads this page, I don't suppose they're saying so.  I mean, I wouldn't see why they would.  This subject of trees is absolutely scintillating. 

I can't unsee anything anymore.

I had a baby.  Now, for some reason, I can't watch violent scenes in movies or on television without my whole body having a visceral reaction.  I feel like I'm going to cry and throw up at the same time.  I understand that this may not be BECAUSE I had a baby. That would be a mad case of post hoc ergo propter hoc.

I only know this: before I got pregnant, I could watch Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. I could sit through the horror movies (preferable bad unbelievable horror with very limited production budget) my husband and I liked to make fun of.  Please don't misunderstand.  I'm not a fan of torture-porn, or violence for its own sake.  I need some plot, even if it's stupid on epic scales.  I could always withstand some murder-y grossness as it furthered the story.

As my son grew, he began to sleep more regularly, and at times, alone in his crib.  This happened around the one-year mark.  Once I put him to bed, instead of diving for my own bed in a desperate grab for any sleep at all just in case he awoke for any reason that only Mommy could take care of, I would join my husband in front of the television to enjoy some pop culture together, if only for half an hour.

I was actually doing okay for a while. I managed to get through a couple episodes of Daredevil with some minor wincing and looking away during fight scenes.  But it was when Vincent D'onofrio murders an associate so brutally, I jumped out of my chair, ran to the bathroom, and chundered like a snow-blower.  My poor husband. He had no idea what was going on.  As I wept and shivered, I explained to him that I couldn't watch the rest of it.  I didn't give up right away, I tested myself a little more with some Walking Dead, but it became pretty clear I wasn't going to make it.  I didn't even try to catch up with Game of Thrones. 

So, there you go.  I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't watch anything violent or disturbing.  I rarely get a break from working and parenting.  Why would I spend those precious minutes doing something that disturbs me or makes me unhappy?  I might build up some desensitization again, but I don't really know how that works.  How do you desensitize an over-active amygdala?  For now, I'll simply spend my few pre-sleep minutes watching something cute or funny like Bob's Burgers, or pretty like Jane Austen.  Daredevil will simply have to wait.